Me, Randomness, Some Cool Girls and Some Hot Men
by TeamDean79
Summary: Random talking between me, the Winchesters, the trench coat wearing angel, the Salvatores, Elena Gilbert, Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, and anyone else I decide to throw in. If you enjoy insanity, check this out!
1. The characters!

**Sam and Dean:** *in unison* Dude!

**TD:** *looks up, mouth full of eggroll* What?

**Sam and Dean:** …

**TD:** Well, if you're not gonna say anything, don't yell out like that! *continues eating*

**Dean:** …eggroll?

**TD:** Yes. I like Chinese. Wanna fight about it?

**Dean:** *raises his eyebrows, turns away* Well so-orry.

**Sam:** Dude, you just got _owned_.

**Dean:** Bite me.

**Sam:** By a teenage girl, may I add.

**Dean:** NO, you may _not_ add.

**TD:** It is true, Dean; you're weak in the mind of a fangirl. *calmly gets up, throws away empty plate*

**Dean:** …you suck. Both of you suck.

**TD:** At least Sam has a soul here.

**Dean:** Yeah…

**TD:** This could a very emotional mo—*gasps* CROP CIRCLES! *runs over to mess of chips lying on the floor made by baby cousin*

**Sam and Dean:** *stare*

**TD:** They just keep showing up everywhere I look…I don't understand…they follow me everywhere…it's like Alan in Two and a Half Men when he kept seeing his ex wife and her husband Herb making out when he started dating that young blond chick.

**Dean:** What young blond chick?

**TD:** You're typical.

**Sam:** *nods* I hear you.

**Dean:** WHAT YOUNG BLONDE CHICK?

**TD:** *winces, then points* That one over there!

**Jo:** Hey, guys.

**Dean:** *whispers* Jo?

**Jo:** *smiles* Hey, Dean. *walks up to Dean and starts making out with him*

**TD:** *smiles happily* Okay, we'll just leave them to it for now.

**Sam:** For a fangirl, you're surprisingly happy to see one of us making out with a girl from the show. Any other would start shooting.

**TD:** *shrugs* Hey, I like Jo. Lisa, not so much, but whatever, Dean.

**Sam:** *looks at Dean and Jo* It doesn't seem like Lisa's in his mind so much right now, either.

**TD:** Well, I thought she's been a bit of a bitch. Girls should know that guys aren't gonna call if something's bothering them. HELLO! But, I'm, um, trying to get over it by the fact that Lisa hasn't been in many episodes lately.

**Sam:** …okay…?

**Damon:** Oh, God, what're we doing here?

**TD:** *glares, folds arms over chest* You're here because I want you to be here. Got it, Salvatore?

**Damon:** *glares back*

**TD:** *doesn't back down*

**Stefan:** Give it up, Damon.

**Damon:** *falters, looks away*

**Sam:** *in amazement* You just won a staring contest with Damon Salvatore.

**Castiel:** Well, actually it was more of a glaring contest.

**TD:** Oh. *grins* Hi, Cas.

**Castiel:** *stares back at strange fangirl* Hello, TeamDean. Why are you calling yourself TD?

**TD:** 'Cause, simpler. Less for me to type.

**Castiel:** Oh.

**TD:** …your hair looks _really_ good.

**Castiel:** …thank you…yours does as well.

**TD:** Thanks! *checks* Eh…I'm decent. Decent enough to be sitting at my laptop sucking on cherry throat drops, anyway.

**Elena:** You know too many of those upset your stomach, right?

**TD:** *sighs* Elena, you're a wonderful girl, but do you see me caring?

**Elena:** Thanks. And no.

**TD:** Exactly.

**Damon:** Dean and Jo are still sucking face.

**TD:** Hey, let them suck face as long as they want.

**Damon:** To shut them up?

**TD:** No! They deserve a good, long reunion.

**Stefan:** If you say so.

**TD:** *hard* I do say so.

**Stefan:** *backs away*

**TD:** Now that I've frightened most of these characters, I would like to let you know that I do not own Supernatural, Vampire Diaries—

**Buffy:** Uh, hey.

**TD:** *screams* —OR BUFFY! *runs to the slayer, hugs her tightly* Oh my God, you're SO COOL!

**Buffy:** *laughs* Um, thanks.

**TD:** *lets go of her* You _rock_.

**Xander:** Well, _yeah_, she rocks, but what about us, huh? Maybe we didn't _save the world_, but we helped!

**TD:** You so did too save the world. Buffy couldn't have done it without you guys.

**Willow:** Aw.

**TD:** *runs up to Xander, hugs him* God, I love you.

**Dean:** *wounded* More than us?

**TD:** You're done sucking face?

**Dean:** *glares* Answer the question before I kick your ass.

**TD:** Ooh, scary.

**Dean:** *growls*

**TD:** Oh, all right, _fine_. *sighs, wraps arms around Xander's neck* He _was_ first…

**Dean:** Oh, okay! I see how this is gonna go! Well, fine, then! *stomps off*

**TD:** *yells after him* Oh, you're allowed to have tons of one night stands and I can't have a crush?

**Xander:** *wounded* I'm just a one night stand in comparison to him?

**TD:** Oh, no, I'm upsetting all the men. No, Xander, I do love you! Really! You're awesome! But…but…I DON'T WANT DEAN TO GO! *sniffles*

**Jo:** *nods in sympathy* I'll go talk to him. *walks off*

**TD:** She is _such_ a good person.

**Damon:** You are _so_ overly dramatic.

**TD:** Bite me.

**Damon:** *smirks* Gladly.

**TD:** *starts to protest, then stops, laughing evilly*

**Damon:** *suspiciously* What?

**TD:** Oh, nothing. If you wanna bite me, go ahead.

**Damon:** …I feel like I'm being lured into a trap.

**Sam:** You are. She took a laxative pill, like, ten minutes ago.

**Damon:** *flinches away from TD* Forget that! You're worse than Katherine! Manipulative…_fangirl_, you!

**Dean:** And by the way, about the laxative? TMI.

**TD:** _Dean_. *steps away from Xander, tears coming to my eyes* Will you come back to me? Or will I have to choose between you and Xander, like Bella did between Edward and Jacob? By the way, readers, she should've either picked Jacob or ran off with Mike Newton. Edward…was a jerk. You could say he left her to protect her, but he didn't. He was selfish; he broke her heart and almost got her killed.

**Dean:** You done? None of us care about Twilight.

**TD:** Yes. *looks up at Dean, pouting, lower lip quivering* Will you stay, Dean?

**Dean:** …why do you have to have _that look_? It's almost as bad as Sam's puppy dog eyes.

**TD:** This whole thing was really meant for you, honestly. You're, like, my favorite dude in any TV show or movie or book EVER.

**Dean:** *sighs* Come here.

**TD:** *walks up to him, hugs him*

**Sam, Jo, Stefan, Elena, Buffy, Xander, and Willow:** Awwwwwwww…

**Damon:** Ugh.

**Castiel:** What did I miss?

**TD:** *looks at him* You popped off again, didn't you?

**Castiel:** …maybe.

**TD:** *sighs, looks at Sam and Dean* Can I do anything to make him stay, like the Enochian symbols?

**Sam and Dean:** Nope.

**TD:** Dammit. Happy Thanksgiving! Review, all of those that think I should continue! And if you have anything to say to these lovely characters, stick it in a review!

**Damon:** You actually think—

**TD:** Don't say it.

**Damon:** *withdraws in fear* Okay…

**Dean:** *points out* You still haven't cleaned up the chip-crop circles.

**TD:** *shrugs* I'll leave them out for the fairies.

**Dean:** …

**Sam:** …

**Dean:** Shut up.

**Sam:** *cracks up laughing*


	2. Dry Turkey

**TD:** …

**Dean:** What?

**TD:** I'm out of throat drops.

**Elena: **I warned you!

**TD:** You warned me about getting a stomachache from them, not having none left when I was done.

**Elena:** I still think it should apply.

**TD:** Yeah, I guess. *flops down on the couch, sighs* Supernatural and Vampire Diaries don't resume for another two weeks. That _sucks_.

**Damon:** Well, aren't you little Ms. Depressed tonight.

**TD:** Well, we _could_ talk about all of the women that have left you and haven't cared about you in your life, see what comes out of that.

**Damon: **…I'm not talking to you anymore tonight.

**TD:** That's probably wise.

**Xander: **Sheesh. What's with the bitchiness tonight, TD?

**TD:** *looks at him seriously* You're asking a very personal question. Are you prepared for the answer?

**Xander: **Uh…

**TD:** It's PMS. And the fact that the turkey—which we have tons left of, by the by—is dry.

**Xander:** Ah.

**TD:** I've been snacking on Twix bars. I don't think all the chocolate in the _world_ will get me through this.

**Dean:** …you frighten me at these times.

**TD: **I've only just started this.

**Dean:** Yes. And you frighten me.

**TD:** Oh…*waves him off* Go salt and burn some bones or something. There is this one chick at school that is so bossy and no one likes her and she talks about everything personal in her life, _loudly_, so everyone can hear her…

**Sam:** She sounds like she's alive.

**TD: **So?

**Dean:** And you still want us to salt and burn her bones.

**TD:** That's what I said, didn't I?

**Dean:** That's not our kind of gig.

**TD:** *sighs* Figured.

**Ruby: **I'll do it.

**TD:** Oh, hey, Ruby. What're you doing here?

**Ruby:** Oh, just decided to see what these idjits are up to. *jerks her thumb at Sam and Dean*

**Sam and Dean:** *shake their heads, back away*

**Sam:** You can't be real…you're dead…

**Ruby: ***shrugs* I'm real here, in TD's mind.

**TD:** That's because you were the embodiment of awesomeness.

**Ruby: ***smiles*

**Sam:** WHAT? SHE'S AN EVIL BITCH! I KNEW YOU WERE INSANE, BUT NOT

_THIS_ INSANE!

**TD:** Quit yelling, you'll lose your voice.

**Ruby: **I like her.

**Dean:** Oh, great, she likes you. The next thing you know she'll be trying to feed you demon blood!

**TD:** Oh, bite me, Dean.

**Sam and Dean:** *walk off, shaking their heads, muttering*

**TD: **They're in denial, they'll come around eventually.

**Damon:** *eyeing Ruby* Hey, sweetheart.

**Ruby:** *raises her eyebrows* Vampire.

**Xander: **You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

**TD:** Oh, shut up, Xander.

**Ruby:** *turns away from Damon* Whatever.

**Willow: **I don't think she likes you.

**Ruby:** There you go, vampire; take tips from Red.

**Damon:** Witches are not on my list of _People—Human or Not—that I Like_.

**TD:** Oh, God. Who is?

**Damon:** Three people; me, myself and I.

**Stefan:** Typical.

**TD: **Three people, huh? You got a couple people in there we don't know about?

**Damon:** Yes. Their names are Jackson and Tony.

**TD: ***raises eyebrows, turns away* Forget I asked. So! I have a couple reviews, so I'm gonna do the stuff. See, Damon, I've got people reading this! *sticks tongue out at him*

**Damon:** *sticks tongue out back*

**TD:** *stares at Damon's tongue strangely*

**Damon:** What?

**TD:** …maybe later. For now, I've got review stuff to do.

**Damon:** …I'm officially freaked.

**Xander:** You and me both, pal.

**Damon:** Exactly _how much_ do you want me to rip your throat out?

**TD: **Guys, GUYS! Make peace. Or I'll throw dry turkey at you.

**Buffy:** Couldn't have said it better myself.

**Damon:** Eat me, Slayer.

**TD:** Buffy, if Damon annoys you I give you official permission to stake him. Repeatedly.

**Buffy:** *eyes Damon thoughtfully* Good to know.

**Damon:** *eyes Buffy cautiously*

**TD: **The first one is from…*drum rolls*…TeamCastiel is to lazy who says, 'To lazy to login! I'm writing this on my iPod, so sorry if it's short. Oh my gosh! You made Damon scared, I bow down to you.'

**Damon:** Yeah. TD, you suck.

**TD: ***cheerfully* Thought you weren't gonna talk to me!

**Damon:** But the tongue thing…

**Xander:** …

**Willow:** …

**Ruby:** …

**Stefan:** …

**Elena:**

**Buffy: **…

**TD:** …'Anyways, I have to go, my bell just rang. Continue this please?'

**TD:** That's exactly what I'm doing! It's FUN!

**Damon:** Yes, being trapped inside your demented mind is a riot. The tongue thing now?

**TD:** Nope! One more review!

**Damon:** Ugh, you people suck. Reading the crap that comes from this chick's mind? Seriously?

**TD:** *brushes his shoulder with hand*

**Damon:** *stares*

**TD:** Sorry, you had a big chip there.

**Damon: **Oh, ha-ha.

**Ruby:** *cracks up laughing*

**TD:** *grins* The second and final is from ooo a jellybean who says, 'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOVED IT! Totally loved your thing about Twilight! Edward was a jerk! I'm glad you and Dean made up :P'

**TD:** Thank you. And I totally agree about Edward. However…*looks around the corner* I'm not too sure Dean is happy with me right now…by the way, where is he?

**Ruby:** Couldn't care less, but coping, I could imagine.

**TD:** I so hope that doesn't mean that he's beating the shit out of his little brother.

**Xander:** …well, I guess I could agree with you there!

**TD:** Oh…you don't watch Supernatural. You just lost cool points, Xand. I mean, yeah, you've only got one usable eye but isn't that enough?

**Willow:** True. That show is awesome.

**Xander:** How many cool points do I have now then?

**Ruby:** Like, negative 14.

**Xander:** Can I kill her?

**TD:** Nope. Sam's got the knife, Dean's got the Colt. Oh, by the way, because of your lack of coolness, I will tell you that Ruby's knife and the Colt are the _only_ things that can kill demons.

**Ruby:** *smirks*

**Xander:** All right, can I throw holy water on her?

**TD:** No. Well, if Ruby gets to mutilate you before Castiel heals you right before you die from blood loss, then yes.

**Xander:** …this place is cruel.

**TD: **Such is the mind of a fangirl.

**Xander:** No shit.

**Damon:** Ow! OW! OW!

**Buffy:** *is staking Damon repeatedly in the arms, legs and stomach*

**Xander:** *laughs*

**TD: **Uh, Buff?

**Buffy:** *looks up* He pissed me off. You gave me permission.

**TD: **Good point. Continue.

**Buffy:** *resumes staking*

**Elena:** Why is he not dying?

**TD:** 'Cause, this is a weird reality mostly controlled by me. No one dies unless I want them to…and sometimes they don't even die then.

**Xander:** _Mostly_ controlled by you?

**TD:** Sometimes the voices in my mind get a little rowdy, like right now. I didn't ask Buffy to start staking Damon!

**Castiel:** Actually, you kind of did.

**TD:** True, but only if Damon pissed her off, which he DID, and I didn't _ask_ him to do that!

**Stefan:** True.

**TD:** *sighs, looks around* Are Sam and Dean still off "coping"?

**Ruby:** Actually, they're coming now.

**Sam and Dean:** *barely able to stand on their feet, clutching bottles of liquor*

**TD:** Where'd you get that?

**Dean: **…

**Sam:** …

**Dean:** From the _fairies_.

**Sam and Dean:** *start giggling*

**TD:** O.o

**Xander: **What?

**TD:** Sam and Dean Winchester are _giggling_.

**Willow:** They _are_ drunk?

**TD:** Yes, but they're _giggling_.

**Ruby:** *is taping the Winchesters*

**TD:** What are you doing?

**Ruby:** Gathering blackmail.

**TD:** Oh. Continue on.

**Buffy:** *walks over* I'm done.

**Elena:** Where's Damon?

**Buffy:** …coping.

**Damon: **BITCH!

**TD:** *wordlessly throws a bottle of tequila to him*

**Damon: ***takes it, opens it, drinks nearly half the bottle without taking a breath* At least somebody cares!

**TD:** Is he always like this when he's wasted?

**Stefan:** Oh, it varies with each time. He pushed me off a cliff once.

**TD:** Oh, he is a _bad_ brother. *grins*

**Xander:** …this is starting to freak me out. Can Will and me go?

**Willow:** Yeah, please?

**TD:** No.

**Xander and Willow:** *sigh*

**TD:** *sighs* You guys want ice cream?

**Xander and Willow:** YES!

**TD:** *throws huge tub of chocolate ice cream to them*

**Stefan:** Where'd you get that from?

**TD:** This place is my _own dojo_. I can make whatever I want happen here. Hehe.

**Castiel:** That's frightening.

**Dean: ***gasps, points* Guys, _look_.

**Buffy and Damon:** *are making out on couch*

**Everyone:** O.o

**Elena: **Wasn't she just _staking_ him a minute ago?

**Willow:** He _is_ drunk.

**Stefan:** But _she _isn't.

**TD:** …holy crap. Buffy/Damon! Bamon, or the same with Bonnie/Damon!

**Willow:** I got it; Buffmon.

**Ruby:** Duffy.

**Sam:** Dry turkey.

**Everyone:** …?

**TD:** Awesome. See ya when I see ya!


End file.
